cars and graveyards

So I've decided that the graveyard that is about 5 miles down the road from my home is my secret/quite place. And the place that I meet God the most is in my car.

So therefore in my car at the graveyard = best place to be when I am sad and troubled.

Last night I had just about had it, so I got in my car at 11pm last night and drove to the graveyard sat there, yelled, cussed, cried, wrote, prayed.

I have to be honest, it was NOT beautiful.

I told God some not nice things, not about Him, I love God, but about my life.

The honest truth is I don't want to change.

And I hate that I feel this way.

So my prayer is that I desire to change.

I don't know how many times I have to pound it through my head and heart, that this life isn't about what I want, it's desiring what God wants.

UHHHHH!!!

Heart please change! Please!

I am so full of pride.

That is more truth right there.

Anyways.

I am grateful for my car.

The "car" in general has always been my safe haven.

Even when I was a kid.

All we ever did was travel, so the car is where me and my family spent time together, and slept, ate, did school work, sang, even played my guitar.

I wrote a silly little poem about my home the car.

"This car is the only home I have ever known.

It's the place where me and my lover meet alone.

Summer, Spring, Winter, Fall

I don't care where I am as long as I am in my car.

I'm as happy as can be when I hit the open road.

As long as I am in this car, I am right where I want to be, home."